Saturday, 10 May 2008

How to Create a Happy Marriage

People who think Marriage will automatically make a couple happier and closer are wrong. Marriage can be a wonderful thing in the right circumstances but like anything worth doing in this life it takes work, dedication, mutual understanding, support and equality from your spouse. It's a team effort.

A Happy Marriage Comes From Within

Your happiness both as an individual and as a married partner must come from within yourself.

Being married can definitely add to your happiness, but it is not and can not be the primary source of your happiness. And to expect it to is a recipe for distaster. Here are some tips to help you create a happier you and a happy marriage with your husband or wife.

1. COMMUNICATE. This is probably the most important aspect to a successful marriage. Everything else will follow if you have good communication with your partner in all aspects of your lives.

2. Share your lives with each other and make a point to discuss the things you both did in your day. this comes back to communication.

3. Make sure you have a friendship with your partner. This may seem odd but in fact it's very important. Not all people who are in love are actually friends with the person. This is definitely unhealthy and will only lead to problems. If you don't enjoy each others company then this should be your primary focus. Find things you both enjoy doing and emphazise them.

4. Agree to disagree. All relationships go through tumultuous periods. And I have yet to meet any couple that doesn't argue from time to time. But it is important to have ground rules in fights. You must take turns to share your grievances and agree to disagree on some points with a level of maturity.

5. Do a random act of kindness not only for a stranger each day, but also for one another. Don't talk about these acts of kindness with one another. They are for your own personal self-esteem and growth.

Word of Caution

We are not saying that you can create a happy marriage when there is infidelity, abuse, lying, etc. A dysfunctional marriage can make you unhappy.

If you are in an unhappy marriage, please seek professional counselling so you can make an informed and rational decision as to whether or not your marriage is worth saving. The resources below are a great place to start when taking back your life from a wrecked marriage.